she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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