I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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