If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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