just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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