Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
