So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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