On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
