As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a beard to bite.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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