I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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