i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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