Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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