a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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