honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
