Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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