I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
