i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
