Where did you get a picture of my penis
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I got inside last night via doggy door
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
