there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
