Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
