why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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