Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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