I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
