just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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