So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
