Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
