you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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