And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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