:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
