it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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