Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
