I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i barfeds in our rink
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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