we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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