If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
