Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
