He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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