I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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