So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
