ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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