dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
