i think i have herpe
just one?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
