Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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