Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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