im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
