You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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