Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
