Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize