On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
