i barfeds in our rink
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
