I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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