i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
