Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
