i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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