coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
