girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
