i was born a porn star she said
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
