C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
