the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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