So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
